Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The True State of the Nation in a "Text" Joke

Here's a joke widely circulating in the short messaging service or popularly called "text" in the Philippines. Text jokes are ordinary in this country, touted as the world's short messaging capital, but this one characterizes the true state of the nation, closer than the president's assessment in her address last Monday.

Sorry English speaking folks, the translation in English doesn't rhyme.
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The Setting: An International Pageant for Gays dubbed as "Miss Gay Universe"
Venue: Araneta Center, Cubao, Quezon City, Philippines
Episode: Introduction of Contestants

(Since the venue is in the Philippines, all contestants were required to speak in Tagalog)

Contestant No. 1: "Gutom ako, gutom kayo, gutom tayong lahat! Hungary!"
Contestant No. 2: "Ola Viola! Kaserola, tinola, saranggola, arinola ni Lola....Venezuela!
Contestant No. 3: "Boom! Kaboom! Kablaam!... Afghanistan!"
Contestant No. 4: "Malay mo, malay ko, malay nating lahat... Malaysia!"
Contestant No. 5: "Baha dun, baha dito. Baha sa buong mundo... Bahamas!
Contestant No. 6: "Hindi sa akin, hindi sa iyo, kanino sya?... Kenya!"
Contestant No. 7: "One way, two way, there's no other way... Norway!" (*She was given zero for not speaking in Tagalog)
Contestant No. 8: "Sing ka na, sing ka pa, ilabas ang Magic Sing!..... Singapore!"
Contestant No. 9*: "Mula sa lupaing salat sa bigas, sandamakmak pa sa poder ang mga mandurugas!.. Pilipinas!"
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*Contestant No. 9 hails from the Philippines. Translation: "From the land where rice is severely scarce, where plenty of those in power are bloody thieves!... Philippines!")